Hardware Store Jokes aka Why Emily Isn’t Allowed in Public
I’m going to tell you a secret. There are people who actually maage to go to the home improvment store and not make dirty jokes. You know how I know this? They are the ones staring at us with expression that says they want to kill us for even thinking such things. But any trip that starts by asking how long the wood needs to be is bound to be hilarious.
I thought I’d give you some of the better ones from this week’s venture:
Husband: I need more screws.
Me: Attempting not to giggle. What about the box we bought yesterday.
Husband: I need longer ones.
Me: When it comes to screwing, size doesn’t matter.
Husband: It does if you’re trying to hit a certain spot.
Me: Points to piece I think we need. What about this one?
Husband: That wood is too soft. We need harder wood.
Me: Maybe you could rub it?
Anyone out there have any good hardware store jokes? Dirty or otherwise?